Thursday, July 03, 2008

Urgent Prayer Request

In an unfortunate incident earlier this week, Uncle Sam threw up all over our church.

This, following the annual hotdog eating contest.

He had just eaten an entire package of Hebrew National hotdogs, but lost the race to the smaller, more efficient six-time hotdog eating champion Takeru "Tsunami" Kobayashi.

When he entered the foyer,
he apparently was overcome by the gaseous
incense fumes
emanating from the sanctuary.

Local emergency workers calmed him down by
repeatedly singing America the Beautiful
and Battle Hymn of the Republic.

Uncle Sam is currently recovering from the incident at a local VA hospital.
Cards with money and silk flowers are welcome.


Eric said...

what kind of sick, unAmerican, communist terrorist are you?

Eric said...

Pass the pepto

Evan and Julia said...

What!?! I love hot dogs!

Eric said...

I guess there is some virus going around. The church I went to Sunday opened with the Pledge of Allegiance and was followed by a sequence of 5 or so patriotic songs and a patriotic choir special. Oddly enough there was no prayer and no scripture reading except for the occasional proof-texted verse peppered through the "sermon."

It must be a highly contageous virus...I'm starting to feel my stomach church just thinking about it.