An Open Letter: Fencing in the Playground

I thought this edited version of a response I've written to a Parkview parent may put some of this transition in perspective. As you may already know, I've accepted the position of Pastor of Discipleship for Children and Adults at Belmont United Methodist Church here in Dayton. Changing churches is always a bittersweet time, saying goodbye and then saying hello in the very next breath. It can be fraught with misunderstanding and disappointment as well as excitement and anticipation.

That said, optimistically I believe, I have been a victim of unintended consequences. The fact is, the Church of the Nazarene directly connects monetary compensation with pastoral status from district licensing on. That may not make a whole lot of sense, but what it means is, if I'm not paid, technically the experience side shouldn't count. So, for instance, if Evan were to go back to being volunteer at a church, even after almost 6 years (or more) in full time ministry, he would have to start over on his years of experience in order to be ordained. And technically, according to general church policy, it wouldn't matter how much I worked, without some sort of acknowledged compensation that experience doesn't count for ministry time. I don't know that those consequences of that policy are intended, but I've been enjoying the good will of church leadership ever since I offered to forego my salary way back in Kansas City. Because I have been willing to continue to forego any kind of compensation or salary (granted, so that I could continue to serve in some capacity alongside Evan, and not pushing the issue from the beginning), I have had to have 'special status' as an ordination candidate and eventually elder so that any of my experience would count. I've been burned by this already.

That's not to excuse it, but just give a little bigger picture. And honestly, the fact that I am a woman seems to complicate the issue even further (but that's a whole 'nother can of worms). So, with that being said, I did not decide to leave Parkview simply because I'm not being paid. Obviously, that has contributed to the difficulty of navigating the situation, but it definitely is not THE reason. I want to be clear about that. I'm not bitter or angry. I think the opportunity for us to come to Parkview opened up exactly when we needed it. I still believe that was a huge answer to prayer, considering the (literal) desert we were in. And I think when this opportunity at Belmont opened up, I had to at least see what the possibilities might be. When the door opened for service that proactively sought out a person with my gifts, experience and passions, I chose to step through it.

The last thing is that almost everyone (at least those that have talked directly to me) has been extremely positive and supportive. I have not sensed a mean or ungracious or even ignorant spirit that could have been. Of course, most of those that we've talked to know us and know our hearts, but I don't want to give that impression of the people at Parkview. I doubt most have any inkling of the issues at play.

I know that me not being at the same church with Evan will present some challenges, but that's the difficulty of two people who are married having the same call to full-time ministry. This deserves conversation, not condemnation.

I have likened it already to the assumptions people would make about married professionals such as doctors or lawyers. It would not be uncommon for two physicians or two attorneys to be married. But is there any requirement by law or within culture that maintains these couples must practice their profession together and in one office? Is one's ability or effectiveness to heal or practice law dependent upon the other's presence? Perhaps the situation is different, by nuances, but I believe the basic assumption that co-pastoring or team-ministry should be our only option has no basis.

I think Evan is quite capable at being a children's pastor. :) And I can, perhaps, actually function as the supportive pastor's wife that I'm supposed to be. And he for me (pastor's husband, that is).

I'm thinking that this new arrangement is kind of like putting a fence around the playground. Perhaps boundaries need to be clarified for ministry and for marriage to expand and live in the freedom it's supposed to enjoy. Perhaps what our expectations for our ministry have been and what others assumptions for our ministry would be have just not lined up. This has been an unspoken fear that has in some ways held us back from the radical obedience God calls us to, and maybe we've not had the courage to address it until now. And we just are at a point where both expectations and assumptions are going to need to be reevaluated.

But I don't think that's a bad thing because I think the issues at work here are far bigger than just me and this particular situation. It's good though, however hard it may be going through it, to be a part of something bigger than yourself. Any thoughts?

At the Wall Declaration

There's been a lot going on, about which I really can't go into detail, but I think it's important that Evan and I share this as a first step towards accountability with our brothers and sisters in Christ.
What I can say is that we like where we are -- Ohio. The Midwest suits me fine, and Evan's ok with it, except for allergies. We LOVE our house, which I think is rare in pastoral ministry. It's not extravagant, but it is an absolutely beautiful old house that has pretty much everything we want, little that we don't want, and just enough room for the future. Evan has also benefited immensely from his time at UTS. It has been the medicine he has needed at several critical points.
That said, the suburban lifestyle that we have had to adapt to here has been a struggle. I don't think this is particular to Ohio, but it is very different from the urbanized or the rural cultures of our previous churches. It is subversive and deceptive, particularly when it comes to living a Christian life, and I think both Evan and I have been at some loss in how to live the way we feel we have been called and continue to minister to people with such different values and priorities.
I don't say that demeaning or arrogantly. But this has been our growing observation, even as we continue to deepen our relationships with the people we've met here.
However, we've hit a wall. And we've both needed a new measure of grace to know whether to climb over, dig under or build a door. Thankfully, God has placed a few people in our lives that have given us encouragement to keep going, even if they have not told us what we need to do. They have also challenged us.
And to that end, we have made a decision to begin truly living by the priorities and convictions of our calling. And we will live with the consequences of them. We have concluded that if we do not reclaim some of these things, we will not survive.

Therefore, we declare:

1. Sabbath will be observed in our household.
2. Further simplification of our necessities and our luxuries so that we may give more to others in the local and global community.
3. The Christian calendar will be our mark for time.
4. Greater focus on our educational and professional goals as they support our call serve the Church.
5. Our practice of specific behaviors (ie. detachment, lectio divina, OSL, etc.) that will allow us to continue in our vocational ministry.

These are five broad declarations that have many specifics already attached to them. Those are things that probably don't require posting on a blog site. But I just wanted to let you know, that we may be saying "No," to somethings now, and "Yes," to some other things that we would not have not too long ago.
I hope that you will pray for us as we begin to reorient our life toward this recovered vision our life in Christ.

Up Next - the new Peel-a-Meal Communion - SuperSized!

A new article from slate.com, "The Chick-fil-A Church." I particularly appreciate the view of Eddie Johnson, "Just like that Chick-fil-A owner/operator, I'm here in Nashville to open up our franchise and run it right," wrote Eddie Johnson. "I believe in my company and what they are trying to 'sell.' "

Lord have mercy.

Point C?

Evan had a children's meeting today. He was talking about what the children have been doing with the money from their Sunday morning offering.

Evan and I have reflected on this several times in the past few weeks, especially since his class at Ginghamsburg UMC. It’s been a long road. I don’t think either of us are “naturally” compassionate people. But I pointed out to Evan, as we’ve struggled ourselves with identifying with our very upper middleclass, comfortable congregation, that there is tangible evidence of a movement from point A to point B. Last year the elementary children raised money for Heifer International - $150.00 total for the entire year. Rather pitiful for a church that raises over 1 million dollars a year. I think this was kind of discouraging for Evan.

This year, Evan decided to do the micro-financing for Rwandans. On Sunday mornings he’s been careful to explain the history of the situation between the Hutu’s and Tutsi’s in April 1994. The Hutu’s, after growing tensions with the Tutsi tribe, marched upon the “cockroaches" and "tall trees” (the names they called the Tutsi’s to dehumanize them) and cut the Tutsi trees down with machetes and garden tools. Between eight hundred thousand and one million people died within one hundred days. In six months, our elementary children have raised over $250 for the Rwandan people. Evan has seen children bring $5 and $10 bills of their own money to put in the toilet plungers he uses for offering plates.

Then, in today’s meeting, one of the parents in the meeting suddenly realized what her daughter was talking about the other day as she counted down from five. A child in the world dies from hunger every five seconds, her daughter told her. The mother dismissed it at the time. But her daughter knew better. Even if her daughter could not identify with true hunger or starvation, she could still identify with a nameless child.

It seems to me that true giving originates not from sympathy but from empathy. That is solidarity. We can only give as Christ gave when we attempt to walk in someone else's shoes. I admit I usually fail miserably at this because usually when I give, I like it -- because it makes ME feel better about myself. My pity for someone else’s situation rarely crosses over to something Christlike. But when I have done it right, it hurts. Shouldn’t I grieve? Shouldn’t I really lose something? The logical end of following Christ does not end at our own salvation. It is taking up the very cross he bore through the streets of his beloved city; it is sacrifice for others.
Do we kid ourselves otherwise? Thinking that the goal of drawing our children and families into Christian service is that they will enjoy it. That they find “fulfillment.” It becomes another drug, another Baal of choice, that widens the gulf between “us” and “them;” between ourselves and our neighbor.

I love the hymn of Philippians 2. It’s something I haven’t gotten past because I haven’t gotten there yet.

If then there is any encouragement in Christ, any consolation from love, any sharing in the Spirit, any compassion and sympathy, make my joy complete: be of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility regard others as better than yourselves. Let each of you look not to your own interests, but to the interests of others.

Let the same mind be in you that was in Christ Jesus,
who, though he was in the form of God,
did not regard equality with God as something to be exploited,
but emptied himself,
taking the form of a slave,
being born in human likeness.
And being found in human form,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to the point of death—
even death on a cross.
Therefore God also highly exalted him
and gave him the name that is above every name,
so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bend,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
and every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father. (NRSV)

Urgent Prayer Request

In an unfortunate incident earlier this week, Uncle Sam threw up all over our church.

This, following the annual hotdog eating contest.

He had just eaten an entire package of Hebrew National hotdogs, but lost the race to the smaller, more efficient six-time hotdog eating champion Takeru "Tsunami" Kobayashi.

When he entered the foyer,

he apparently was overcome by the gaseous

incense fumes

emanating from the sanctuary.

Local emergency workers calmed him down by

repeatedly singing America the Beautiful

and Battle Hymn of the Republic.

Uncle Sam is currently recovering from the incident at a local VA hospital.

Cards with money and silk flowers are welcome.

Learning to do good

Hear the word of the Lord,
you rulers of Sodom!

Listen to the teaching of our God,
you people of Gomorrah!

What to me is the multitude of your sacrifices? says the Lord;
I have had enough of burnt offerings of rams and the fat of fed beasts;

I do not delight in the blood of bulls, or of lambs, or of goats.
When you come to appear before me, who asked this from your hand?

Trample my courts no more;
bringing offerings is futile;
incense is an abomination to me.

New moon and sabbath and calling of convocation—
I cannot endure solemn assemblies with iniquity.

Your new moons and your appointed festivals my soul hates;
they have become a burden to me, I am weary of bearing them.

When you stretch out your hands,
I will hide my eyes from you;
even though you make many prayers, I will not listen;
your hands are full of blood.

Wash yourselves;
make yourselves clean;
remove the evil of your doings from before my eyes;
cease to do evil,

learn to do good;

seek justice,

rescue the oppressed,

defend the orphan,

plead for the widow.

Come now, let us argue it out,
says the Lord:

though your sins are like scarlet,
they shall be like snow;

though they are red like crimson,

they shall become like wool.

If you are willing and obedient,

you shall eat the good of the land;

but if you refuse and rebel,

you shall be devoured by the sword;

for the mouth of the Lord has spoken.

Isaiah 1:10-20 (NRSV)

sculpture, Phillip Ratner, 1998, Israel Bible Museum

Ha Ha . . . Ahem.

Admittedly less vitriolic than my own previous post, Jim Wallis comments on the JD BO tiff.

I appreciate his recognition of consistent pro-life convictions emerging among younger evangelicals.

I remember this big picture connection between God and life being made for me at a seminar with Tim Green on Old Testament preaching (or something like that) at MVNU. Thanks Tim!

Fried: Follow up to Chicken Post

Maybe I really just don't understand what grace is, or what means of grace are -- but if it/they isn't/aren't fundamentally salvific in nature, then what is it?

Why make ourselves available to any means of grace - sacrament or not - if they're not going to work a change in our life?

If these aren't the things that do bring us into right relationship with God then why do anything at all?

Why is this salvific nature of sacrament such a problem?

Finally, it seems we have so "spiritualized" our salvation that we are no longer capable of being entirely saved. That is heart, soul, mind and strength.

What a position for us, of all people, to find ourselves in!

Stuck in my Craw

OK, maybe I'm just missing something here, but my understanding of the Nazarene's stance on infant baptism is that it is a symbol, but it is not salvific. Huh?

If that's the case than what's the point at all? How can we claim to have any understanding of sacraments, grace or God if baptism is effective only in certain situations?

I'm on the cliff ready to jump . . . please tell me I'm missing it.

Intro to Christian Ed

Once again, I am teaching. Yeah!
Once again, I am teaching something I have had no formal training in. Yeah!

I was (and am) happy to have the opportunity to teach for the Southwest Ohio district ministry classes. As usual, it happens to be something that I, myself, did not go to school for. That's ok. I imagine most professors are making up most of their stuff too. I'm teaching Introduction to Christian Education. Fortunately, unlike physical science, I do not have to take another certification test in order to teach this.

I went online and found 4 or 5 different CE syllabus from different Methodist, Nazarene schools and cobbled together my own working bibliography and outline for the class.

The truth is, education seems to get relegated to the side lines in favor of more attention getting ministry endeavors -- preaching, music, etc.

Walter Bruggeman has said, “Every community that wants to last beyond a single generation must concern itself with education.” That's must be true not just for a faith community, but it is particularly true.

I think the most liberating thing for me was realizing that education in the faith takes place everywhere in the church -- but we need to be aware and intentional about it. I figured this out at St. Paul's in Kansas City. I was trying to acclimate myself to my new associate pastor position, really understanding what that meant for my call and that local community. I read Educating Congregations by Charles R. Foster. He talked about creating events within the life of the church that form and transform. Just as the Passover recalls the Exodus story in vivid chewy details, a local faith community must recall and recreate the moments in their journey that made and make them who they are.

When I figured this out, it opened up new horizons for purpose in what we did and what we said. Just a few opportunities I had in the time I was there - a series of worship banners and paraments for the entire church year, fellowship infused with meaning (St. Patrick's Day cabbage and corned beef, Shrove Tuesday pancakes, etc.), Remember your Baptism video (including people from our church telling their baptism stories), intergenerational and family events (marble tournament, Advent wreath making night), ministry to our local parish (Block Party, staff prayer as we walked around the blocks of our neighborhood), Covenant groups using Wesley's covenant questions, creating a multi-cultural Nativity set with Anglo shepherds, Asian and middle-Eastern wisemen, an African angel, and an Indian Mary. But the list could go on.

The thing that I remember about these community events and efforts were 1) their intentionality 2) the intergenerationality 3) their participation.

What Evan and I struggle with right now is the conviction that pastoral ministry is substantially different than any other job in the world. The time I need to spend in prayer, preparation and in activity is qualitatively and quantitatively different than a CEO, a lawyer, a teacher, doctor, or any other profession would need to spend doing what they do. Because we are not CEO's or business people, my bottom line is not money, or tasks completed, or even numbers people. It is lives.

And as Anna Carter Florence points out in her recent lectionary reflections, "Think about the ordination services you have taken part in, recently. Have Jesus’ words in this passage ever appeared in the liturgy? My job is to charge the newly ordained, so I charge you, our Associate Pastor for Christian Nurture here at First Church, to do four things: cure the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lepers, and cast out demons. Start with the Sunday School and then go after the youth group."

I appreciate that.

For this is the essential nature of Christian education -- a growing knowledge of Christ so that we may actually become more like him. And Christ does not call any of us to a faith built upon the most gold stars for attendance, the longest most urgent prayers, or the most convincing argument for the world being made in seven days. Empty works, false piety, intellectual bullying are not faith.

Vital Christian faith comes in our being restored to his Image. Meaning and integration comes as we see Him in each other. We see the Holy Spirit at work in our own lives and in the lives of our brothers and sisters. We can begin to name where God is among us. And where He still needs to come.

So that's what I have to say about CE right now. Where does CE take place in your local congregation? Is is "working" or isn't it? What events, outside the formal settings such as Sunday School or specific Bible study, does your community learn the faith?